Baddest Ass Sandwich of All-Time?

Photo Courtesy: Zaxby's Official Website

The Kickin' Chicken Sandwich at Zaxby's is maybe the greatest thing ever...maybe. 782 calories of chicken finger, ranch, hot sauce, and Texas toast fuckin goodness. Whatever the ranch and hot sauce (apparently Tongue Torch) mix is, just go ahead and put that on everything I eat. Pour that shit in a bowl and I will fill it with Lucky Charms or Cap'n Crunch and enjoy a delicious breakfast experience. In addition, you get an extra 375 calories worth of fries with the sandwich when you order the meal and you just end up dipping the fries in the ranchy hot slop that comes out of your sandwich anyway. Despite the fact that the sauce Zaxby's offers with all of it's food, Zax Sauce, is fucking delicious. So delicious that Zaxby's charges extra for it. And no matter what else you order from Zaxby's, you end up dipping that shit in the Zax Sauce, unless you get a Kickin' Chicken Sandwich. In that case, you don't even touch the Zax Sauce. You just dip everything...Fries, Toast, Pickle, Straw from drink, Cock. You dip it all in the sauce that oozes out of your Kickin' Chicken Sandwich.

For those who don't know, Zaxby's is a franchised restaurant which specializes in delicious chicken. It can be found in Alabama, Arkansas, Florida, Georgia, Kentucky, Mississippi, North Carolina, South Carolina, Tennessee, and Virginia. If you live in one of these states, go get a Kickin' Chicken Sandwich...immediately. If you don't reside in the Southeast, take a road trip. Seattle to Knox-Vegas is only 2,622 miles for god's sake. And it would be worth it. You might even sit down and to your surprise, get to enjoy a meal next to Phil Fulmer devouring a Big Zax Snak Meal or one of the Clipboard Clausen Brothers eating a fucking Zalad. That's right, a salad at Zaxby's is called a ZALAD, and if you order one, you are either extremely homo or a member of the extended Clausen/Colquitt family. I think Ricky recently married his high school sweetheart Dustin. Sorry...anyway, just eat this shit and ENJOY!