Georgia is Better Than the Houston Rockets

Photo Courtesy: AP - Bill Haber

Dennis Felton talks about winning the SEC Championship and playing Xavier.

...and in Georgia football news, LB Marcus Washington will undergo shoulder surgery and is most likely out for the season. Time to man up Dewberry.

Bill Buckner is a Huge Fan of the TV Series "Life Goes On"

Let's start the damn season already. I read something I wrote a few years back and it made me laugh. Here it is...

"This article begins with me stating my allegiance: I am a Yankees fan and I hope you have a problem with that. Your problems make me feel better about myself. Similar to many Yankee fans, I can’t stand being awake and/or alive after a Yankee loss and after a victory I feel like a million bucks. The effect that the Yanks results has on my soul can only be described as lunacy and can only be rivaled by the psychosis that Red Sox fans also possess. However, people are always complaining about my love for the Yankees. I often hear the quote, “Rooting for the Yankees is like rooting for the house in blackjack.” I heard this even more during the Playoffs That We Do Not Speak Of, when Braves, Rangers, Orioles, Giants, etc. fans were rooting for the self-proclaimed dumbass Red Sox.

Despite the fact that I am still not over the Playoffs That We Do Not Speak Of and things may never be the same, I was never really bothered by the comment, “Rooting for the Yankees is like rooting for the house,” because I expect and hope that you hate the Yankees. “Eff you,” I say, “We win and you suck.” However, the more I thought about that stupid rooting for the house comment and how everyone was and still is rooting for the Red Sox, the harder it became for me to understand how you could actually root for the Red Sox. Now don’t get me wrong, I am not saying anything about real Sox fans rooting for their team, but I decided that if I was not only going to have to listen to that idiotic rooting for the house comment, but also watch the idiotic Red Sox play against the Yankees 19+ times a season, that I had to come up with my own stupid quote also. [note: This is about to become an angry and perhaps offensive rant].

Not only did I make myself laugh, but this was I swear to god the first thing I though of.

Me (thinking to myself): “If rooting for the Yankees is like rooting for the house, then rooting for the Red Sox is like rooting for…(thinking for a total of about 3 seconds)…

“Rooting for the Red Sox is like rooting for a retarded child.” And I am not talking about rooting for some retarded kid who is your friend’s nephew to get a silver medal in the Special Olympics; I am talking about sitting in the waiting room before your first child’s birth and rooting that a retard pops out. Or even worse like saying to your wife when she is 6 months pregnant, “Do you think you could drink a little bit more and maybe smoke this rock of crack/cocaine that I just spent $30 on and don’t want to waste, because I really, really want to have a retarded child. Girl, boy…I don’t care as long as it is really fucking stupid, hard to deal with, and funny to look at after I come home from a hard day’s work.” That is the Red Sox in a nutshell: really fucking stupid, hard to deal with, and funny to look at after I come home from a hard day’s work, but at times rewarding when they do something remotely good.

I am not exactly sure how politically correct that is. I actually thought that I might have matured out of making such derogatory comments, but since I have been making fun of retards my entire life I could care less – hell is already awaiting my impending death. Let me say it again, “Rooting for the current Red Sox team is like rooting for a retarded child.” Is this not the Gods honest truth? And I do not just mean this seasons team; I am talking about the team for the previous few seasons. These guys are hilarious and by hilarious I obviously mean a disgrace. Now I may be a little biased and may be a little upset about that whole Playoffs That We Do Not Speak Of thing, but come on you have to agree with me somewhat. Now don’t get me wrong – I know and understand that they are a good baseball team with a great deal of talent, but Jesus Christ! [note: I could make a Johnny Damon joke, but since that was unintentional I will refrain].

I could go through and say something about every damn player on the roster, but I think that I will save that for part two…and the fact that if I did that I could not even comment on Abe Alvarez’s stupid hat and face, the stupid first names of all the Red Sox prospects such as Hanley, Anibal, and Cla – is that pronounced Claaaaaaaaa, like when you open your mouth at the dentist (although they may not be as bad as recent Yankee call up Melky), or Gabe Kapler’s trip to Japan, because they are not even on the roster.

The funny part is that when Millar was coming up with nicknames for the team as a whole – Cowboys, Dirtballs, Idiots, (he missed Clowns, but I think that was rhetorical) – he actually wasn’t that far off. In fact, maybe before the 2005 playoffs he will come right out and say it, “We’re a bunch of Fucking Retards.” That is if he isn’t traded in a few days so C-3POlerud’s helmet can play first.

Coming Soon: Part Two
1. A rundown of every player and his own retarded bio.
2. Answers to questions such as, “Why can’t Manny Ramirez speak English if he has lived in the United States for 25 years?” and even more puzzling, “Why can’t Johnny Damon either?” and “Is Bellhorn’s jewfro actually just taped onto his hat like a Halloween costume?” and “How to correctly pronounce Mueller?”
3. A contest of who can come closest without going over in guessing how many loads have been blown on Trot Nixon’s hat.
4. Revealing Secrets: The truth as to how much money Dale Sveum has to pay John Henry and Larry Luchino to remain the third base coach."



I'm guessing this song was a huge hit after last year's World Series. Why Sweet Caroline? Ohh, Sweet Corky Thatcher [wohh ohh ohh], good times never seemed so good [so good, so good, so good]. This is so much better.

Filth

What's that? A beautiful day, Vin Scully, a sick 12-6 curve, and a Red Sox player getting rung to end an inning = the greatest video ever. Personally, I would have been sitting on a breaking pitch with a 1-2 count and ripped it through the hole between short and third, but I mean damn, Clayton Kershaw just made Sean Casey look silly.



Update: This video has been removed by MLB. However, Kershaw's curveball can be seen here. This video is of terrible quality and is announced by Sean McDonough who is no Vin Scully. But still at the 3:49 mark, Kershaw unleashes the filth. March 25 - 12:05 pm

Hell Yeah. It's Fishin' Season

So crack open a gold-top and go catch ya' a large mouth. Whether you prefer a Daredevle spoon, a crankbait, or the classic plastic worm, you better have plenty of Busch Beers at your disposal. Gold-top, Silver-top, Camoflauge, or Busch Ice...Don't matter, it's all delicious - a delectable treat preserved for only the greatest of men, true Americans.

So do yourself a favor and head for the mountains...



Find me a friggin' horse. I'm buying a horse. Right. Now. And goin ridin'...hhhwasted.

Or start a fire. Don't be alarmed, however. I'll be there to save the day. Just gimme a second to crack open a Silver-top before I slide down the pole and head out alongside some other great American heroes...Firefighters.

I Was Going To Graduate This Semester, but Then I Failed Film Class...and Life - We Failed at That Too

I know I almost failed "Music, Society, and Culture" my senior year, but holy geez.



"Smith sending in Obrzut, Pick and Rollin like we drew it!!! Pass the ball to Crawford, and get the Slam Dunk!!!!" Wow, you spit hot fire.

Lazy Tuesday?...more like Lazy Schoolwork. No I will not make out with you. Did ya hear that? This girl wants to make out with me in the middle of class. You got Kentucky Basketball Kids up there talking about God knows what and all she can talk about is making out with me. I'm here to learn, everybody, not to make out with you. Go on with the Kentucky Bas-KITT-ball.

Tim Floyd, Is There No Limit? This Story Makes Me Say Ugghhh

Finding a replacement for OJ Mayo. No problem. Just holler at Master P if you hear him. He's got the hook up. Lil' Romeo's best friend is the No. 5 ranked basketball prospect and top-ranked small forward in the country. And Lil' Romeo wants to go to USC's prestigious film school. Oh...and he wants to ball too. On scholarship. Even though he is not that good. And has a bum knee. What's that Tim Floyd? You are actually recruiting me? An offer? Well no one else was dumb enough...I mean, sure. It was that easy? So, your walk-ons aren't going to get mad or anything are they? Sorry John Bender. Looks like you'll have to wait another year. But hey, keep up the hustle in practice. We need you on scout team, giving your blood and sweat every day, getting abused by Mayo and Taj Gibson - helping them become NBA lottery picks. So what you have to pay $44,000 a year when your family only makes $60,000.

Tajuan Porter and Darren Collison, you guys better watch out. Lil' Romeo is so gonna shut you down next year. Oh, he's not going to play? Wait, so why...why is he getting a scholarship? "We may have more 11- to 17-year-old girls in the stands than we've had in the past," said Floyd. Ohh, I get it. But you like them that young, Mr. Floyd? I mean 17, sure, but come on?

Election '08

McCain, Obama, Hil? Fuck no. Only one man deserves your vote this November. This man...



Greatest speech EVER. In the history of Mankind - that word should have new meaning for all of us today. MLK, JFK, FDR, and even Reagan are all jealous. and dead. Vote Thomas J. Whitmore - President 2008. He belongs in the air.

Make Sure to Set Your Tivo - It's Going to be So Wizard

In case you missed it, read this. 5:00 p.m. Eastern standard. Today...Thursday, March 6th. ESPN2 - Ginger Wizard in the 2007 Speed Pools Finals. Please watch. If you are not going to be home, please do yourself a favor and Tivo or DVR it. If you do not have this technology, dust off the VCR and record over some old WCW Nitro VHS's or Aersosmith videos starring Alicia Silverstone. If you can't do that, then you can come over my house and watch it this weekend. I'm having a cookout, I promise. No gingers allowed. Damn, I got you. You just got straight Rick Rolled.



Hahahaha...DORK!

All Eyes on Big Game Tonight in Boston

The two best teams in the NBA face off tonight in Boston, Mass., sans parquet. The Celtics will become the first team to clinch a playoff birth with a win tonight over the Detroit Pistons. Newly acquired Sam Cassell will not suit up for the Celts, but Theo Ratliff, signed by Detroit on Tuesday, may play. And contribute nothing.

Prediction: 'Sheed drains at least five 3-pointers, Bill Laimbeer punches Eddie House in the face, Brian Scalabrine misses the only shot he takes, and the Pistons steal one on the road. Detroit 90 - Boston Sucks 87.

7:30 p.m. Eastern start time. Follow the game live here. Or buy NBA League Pass.

If I Liked Dudes...I'm Just Saying

Here is a great article on my BFF Robbie Cano. And just so my other boyfriend doesn't get jealous, here you are Hanley. And Gibril you can take your money and run because, "I still don't have the reason. And you don't have the time. And it really makes me wonder if I ever gave a fuck about you." JK. I still <3 U! Good luck in Oakland.

And if you have ever wondered what a conversation between Kurt Warner and Jon Kitna would sound like, Kissing Suzy Kolber has supplied the answer. It is hilarious!