Hey Spurrier, if I were you, I'd spend more time worrying about keeping your players on the field and out of jail and less time remembering your old glory days with Florida.
When asked about Georgia and LSU, Spurrier responded,“I told people that when I was at Florida, we beat both of them 11 out of 12.”
Really? I told Jimmy you're still a douche. Want some proof?
Meanwhile, Georgia played their annual G-Day Spring Game...
Red tops Black in low scoring scrimmage - Red and Black
Checking in from Georgia's Spring Scrimmage - SportingNews.com
UGA's spring game draws praise from coach - SportingNews.com
Caleb King dazzles crowd at G-Day - Atlanta Journal Constitution
Analyzing the Dogs after spring practice - Atlanta Journal Constitution
Notebook: Moore makes a strong case - Athens Banner Herald
Bulldogs offense shines at G-Day - Chattanooga Times Free Press
Here are the highlights. Please mute the video unless one of the Baha Men is actually reading this. In that case, you can listen to your terrible song while Caleb King spins out of tackles, Asher Allen sticks people in the open field, and Mike Moore hauls in a few TD's.
Sunday, April 6, 2008
gameCock Face Still Dreaming of Yesteryears
Tuesday, March 18, 2008
Georgia is Better Than the Houston Rockets
Dennis Felton talks about winning the SEC Championship and playing Xavier.
...and in Georgia football news, LB Marcus Washington will undergo shoulder surgery and is most likely out for the season. Time to man up Dewberry.
Tuesday, March 11, 2008
I Was Going To Graduate This Semester, but Then I Failed Film Class...and Life - We Failed at That Too
I know I almost failed "Music, Society, and Culture" my senior year, but holy geez.
"Smith sending in Obrzut, Pick and Rollin like we drew it!!! Pass the ball to Crawford, and get the Slam Dunk!!!!" Wow, you spit hot fire.
Lazy Tuesday?...more like Lazy Schoolwork. No I will not make out with you. Did ya hear that? This girl wants to make out with me in the middle of class. You got Kentucky Basketball Kids up there talking about God knows what and all she can talk about is making out with me. I'm here to learn, everybody, not to make out with you. Go on with the Kentucky Bas-KITT-ball.
Wednesday, February 27, 2008
That Didn't Last Long
Like a virgin boy on prom night. Or Bruce Pearl on a party boat. "You know I thug 'em, fuck 'em, love 'em, leave 'em cause I don't fuckin' need 'em." We doin Big Pimpin' up in Tennessee. Vandy whites out No. 1 Tennessee, 72-69.
Monday, February 25, 2008
This is My Senior Night...Let's Get it Onnnnn
Oh, Knox-Vegas. You have given us some of the greatest treats on Earth. Super Bowl Champions like Gibril Wilson and commercial whore Peyton Manning. My older brother Chad Pennington. Country music phenom Kenny Chesney. The woman of my dreams, Pat Summitt. Famous hillbillies Homer and Jethro. World Series of Poker champion Chris Moneymaker. The fastest man on the planet, Justin Gatlin. Great Knicks, Allan Houston and Bernard King. Potential Hall of Fame first-basemen like Todd Helton and old-school racists like Reggie White. The two greatest wrestlers of all time, "Double J" Jeff Jarrett and Big Daddy Cool Diesel, Kevin Nash. America's greatest author Kurt Vonnegut. Al Gore Sr. and Dr. Jerry Punch. You gave us Johnny Knoxville and Randy Orton. You gave us Dave Thomas, founder of the greatest fast food restaurant on the planet. Quentin Tarantino and all of his brilliance. You even gave us wrestling manager Mr. Fuji. So I never, never thought you could outdo yourself. But then I saw something even I couldn't believe...
With the national stage all to yourselves after a week of hype, you beat Memphis in a thriller Saturday night. Now you are the #1 college basketball team in the nation. That's great. No more talk about Calipari and an undefeated season. Now we can focus on the important things - things like UT backup-guard Jordan Howell. 5.4 ppg and full of soul. How you have managed to once again outdo yourself is beyond me. Here's to the world's greatest city...Knoxville - or Knoxvullll if you are a local. It makes oh so much sense that you also invented the Dumpster!
It's crazy how good he is. It's only fitting that he plays his instrument while sitting on a bench because that is where he has spent the past four years. If the spirit moves, then let me groove. Let your love come dooowwwn. Let me do what I wanna do. All I wanna do is drain this three on you. So let me do what I wanna do. All I wanna do is be your substitute. Gimme good feelings. Well played sir, well played.
Thursday, February 21, 2008
Save Your $10. I've Got Your Thursday Crack Fix...College Football
The NFL Combine is here. Today we got to watch Offensive Linemen and Tight Ends weigh-in wearing only their underwear, and it was Awes...Ful.
Scout.com's Ed Thompson has a live blog running from Indianapolis. As worthless as it is to have a live blog running while guys are weighing-in and talking to the media, it is pro-BOB-ly worth reading if you got that itch.
Press Conferences air live on the NFL Network Friday at 2:30 pm and Saturday and Sunday at 2:00 pm.
Workouts also air live on NFL Network Saturday through Tuesday at 11:00 am.
* Saturday - Offensive Linemen, Tight Ends, and Kickers
* Sunday - Quarterbacks, Running Backs, and Wide Receivers
* Monday - Defensive Lineman and Linebackers
* Tuesday - Corners and Safeties
Good luck to Thomas Brown, Kregg Lumpkin, and Marcus Howard.
The SEC had a solid weekend of nonsense.
* LSU QB Ryan Perrilloux was suspended indefinitely for an undisclosed team violation. Everyone is saying Les Miles should dismiss him from the team, but Miles loves winning so we will see what happens.
* One of the Colquitt Clowns, Tennessee punter Britton, was suspended for the first five games of next season and had his scholarship revoked after a DUI over the weekend. It was reported he had a Zalad in the passenger seat.
* Some Gamecocks including WR Dion Lecorn got busted with a "leafy substance" and were suspended from all team activities indefinitely. Spurrier recruits love two things: weed and shankings.
Then there is this...
Me: "Hey baby! Baby, go home, man! It's 3 o'clock in the morning man, what the fuck are you doing up?"
Baby: "I'm drying my Jean Shorts."
And this Georgia football recruit ballin'...
Update: Chicken Wings & Haters decided today was a good day to talk about crack and Tyrone Biggums as well. Check it. Booyakasha! February 22 - 2:30 am
Wednesday, February 13, 2008
Debbie Clemens Is A Cheater
Congress is disgracing our great nation with this nonsense.
Raaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaarrrr...Why did you inject my wife with HGH? I was not at the Canseco party. I'll kill you!
In the meantime...
* The Twins signed Livan Hernandez to a one-year, $5 million contract. National League pitchers can now sleep at night.
* Craig Biggio was hired by the Astros to serve as "a special assistant to general manager Ed Wade, a similar role held by Jeff Bagwell." Awwww...Bigg <3's Bags. They can't quit each other.
* Kevin Mench went back to the Rangers, agreeing to a minor league contract. The Dallas Morning News reports, "the Rangers are in a reunion kind of mood. A week after bringing back Nolan Ryan, the club decided to reunite with Kevin Mench as well." My god, that is some terrible journalism. Here is what happened when Nolan Ryan heard he had just been mentioned in the same sentence as Kevin Mench.
* The Padres avoided arbitration with Khalil Greene and agreed to a two-year deal worth $11 million. It's too bad because here is what the arbitration hearing would have looked like.
* They found Lil Wayne's duffle bag. And it wasn't full of money this time.
* Scientists found a flying Dino-SAUR in China. Here's a photograph Captain Caveman took a few years back.
Update: Photo has been deleted. Here is an artists rendering via: AP. March 19 - 3:00 pm
* And here is some football news to help ease your shakes while you eagerly wait for the Combine. ProFantasySports.com looks at the top receivers and apparently, the Colt Brennan bashing has begun. Actually, Marcus Howard started that in New Orleans a little over a month ago.
Tuesday, February 12, 2008
Don't Write A Check Yo Ass Can't Cash Congressman
The state of Georgia is in a historic drought. 38,000 acre Lake Lanier is dried up. And now Georgia wants what it rightfully deserves.
Lawmakers Say Part Of Tenn. Belongs To Ga.
The state of Georgia says its "border is supposed to be the 35th parallel, but an 1818 survey put it just about a mile south of there, and they said they want a new survey." If this is true, they would lay claim to a portion of the Tennessee River and this may help solve its water woes.
In response, Tennessee state Rep. Andy Berk issued a challenge. “My first thought was maybe we can settle this over a game of college football, but that would be unfair to the citizens of Georgia.” Seriously? Bring that shit on! We will step on your face with a hobnail boot and break your nose. We will crush your face. Bring your Rocky Top chanting, clipboard-carrying asses to the border and get some! Bring Peyton Manning if you want. It don't effin' matter. Georgia is better than the Patriots. And if you really want to issue a ridiculous challenge like that Congressman, you had better be ready to put your faith in Phil Fulmer's fat donut-eating ass. Believe me when I say that he will find a way to piss away your precious river with field goals and Clausens starting meaningful games for you for six straight years of futility. Go ahead and annex the state of Hawaii over to Georgia while you are at it. Maybe their Samoans and volcanoes can pray to the water gods and give my father his god damn lake back. Fuck you Rep. Berk. Strap your chinstrap up real tight, put on your big boy shoulder pads and get ready to be HIT IN THE MOUTH. Bill Bates style. We will crank dat all over your hillbilly Appalachian faces. Get ready. Set an early bed check and eat plenty of Wheaties because Herschel Walker, David Greene, Sean Jones, and the boys are coming for you and this time it's for realz.
Remember this...bitch!
Thursday, January 17, 2008
You Sir, Are a Disgrace to Lord Xenu!
"When Tim Tebow drives past an accident, he's not like anyone else. Yes, he drives past. He knows he has to do something about it because he knows he is the ONLY one who can really help. That's what drives him."
KSW. Vacation? What a lunatic!
"The fifth child of Bob and Pam Tebow, both of whom are University of Florida graduates, Tim was born on August 14, 1987 in the Philippines, where his parents were serving as Christian missionaries. Pam suffered infection with a pathogenic amoeba while pregnant with him, and an abortion was recommended by her doctors."
Via: Tim Tebow's Wikipedia Article
You mean this all could have been avoided? But then, I wouldn't have gotten to see this...
eventually lead to the Tears of Tebow. The QB/all-everything leader of the Power-Spread Galactic Confederacy cries? Lord Xenu would fly you to fucking Mt. Ranier aboard his personal DC-8 and then drop a hydrogen bomb on you if he knew you were such a little girl. Seriously, be careful. Your home of the Philippines is full of volcanoes, isn't it? Were the orphans you saved crying when they realized their parents actually just pretended to take them on a scenic picnic and really had left them to fend for themselves in a Filipino rainforest? I know "it's rough and tumble and it's wild and woolly and it's a blast" out there, but you better get your fuckin thetan level right or go home. LOSER. Tom Cruise even told me you're only slightly less of a loser than Reggie Ball. I had to tell Tom to take it easy. Reggie Ball? Maybe that was taking it a little to far. I even pointed to your national championship and Heisman trophy and pointed out Reggie wearing his UPS delivery uniform. In return, Tom pointed to your tears. And with that, Maverick won the argument. Gosh, that Tom Cruise is convincing. Where do I sign up?
Tuesday, December 25, 2007
Baddest Ass Sandwich of All-Time?
Photo Courtesy: Zaxby's Official Website
The Kickin' Chicken Sandwich at Zaxby's is maybe the greatest thing ever...maybe. 782 calories of chicken finger, ranch, hot sauce, and Texas toast fuckin goodness. Whatever the ranch and hot sauce (apparently Tongue Torch) mix is, just go ahead and put that on everything I eat. Pour that shit in a bowl and I will fill it with Lucky Charms or Cap'n Crunch and enjoy a delicious breakfast experience. In addition, you get an extra 375 calories worth of fries with the sandwich when you order the meal and you just end up dipping the fries in the ranchy hot slop that comes out of your sandwich anyway. Despite the fact that the sauce Zaxby's offers with all of it's food, Zax Sauce, is fucking delicious. So delicious that Zaxby's charges extra for it. And no matter what else you order from Zaxby's, you end up dipping that shit in the Zax Sauce, unless you get a Kickin' Chicken Sandwich. In that case, you don't even touch the Zax Sauce. You just dip everything...Fries, Toast, Pickle, Straw from drink, Cock. You dip it all in the sauce that oozes out of your Kickin' Chicken Sandwich.
For those who don't know, Zaxby's is a franchised restaurant which specializes in delicious chicken. It can be found in Alabama, Arkansas, Florida, Georgia, Kentucky, Mississippi, North Carolina, South Carolina, Tennessee, and Virginia. If you live in one of these states, go get a Kickin' Chicken Sandwich...immediately. If you don't reside in the Southeast, take a road trip. Seattle to Knox-Vegas is only 2,622 miles for god's sake. And it would be worth it. You might even sit down and to your surprise, get to enjoy a meal next to Phil Fulmer devouring a Big Zax Snak Meal or one of the Clipboard Clausen Brothers eating a fucking Zalad. That's right, a salad at Zaxby's is called a ZALAD, and if you order one, you are either extremely homo or a member of the extended Clausen/Colquitt family. I think Ricky recently married his high school sweetheart Dustin. Sorry...anyway, just eat this shit and ENJOY!
Saturday, December 22, 2007
Albert Clifford Slater Wishes You a Merry Christmas and Brandon Cox Supplies the Gifts...Again
"Years from now no matter where we traveled, We'll all look back and think about our friends."
I don't think Brandon Claus...I mean Cox has to shop this Christmas. He already threw 8 gifts under the tree.
