Filth

What's that? A beautiful day, Vin Scully, a sick 12-6 curve, and a Red Sox player getting rung to end an inning = the greatest video ever. Personally, I would have been sitting on a breaking pitch with a 1-2 count and ripped it through the hole between short and third, but I mean damn, Clayton Kershaw just made Sean Casey look silly.



Update: This video has been removed by MLB. However, Kershaw's curveball can be seen here. This video is of terrible quality and is announced by Sean McDonough who is no Vin Scully. But still at the 3:49 mark, Kershaw unleashes the filth. March 25 - 12:05 pm

Hell Yeah. It's Fishin' Season

So crack open a gold-top and go catch ya' a large mouth. Whether you prefer a Daredevle spoon, a crankbait, or the classic plastic worm, you better have plenty of Busch Beers at your disposal. Gold-top, Silver-top, Camoflauge, or Busch Ice...Don't matter, it's all delicious - a delectable treat preserved for only the greatest of men, true Americans.

So do yourself a favor and head for the mountains...



Find me a friggin' horse. I'm buying a horse. Right. Now. And goin ridin'...hhhwasted.

Or start a fire. Don't be alarmed, however. I'll be there to save the day. Just gimme a second to crack open a Silver-top before I slide down the pole and head out alongside some other great American heroes...Firefighters.

I Was Going To Graduate This Semester, but Then I Failed Film Class...and Life - We Failed at That Too

I know I almost failed "Music, Society, and Culture" my senior year, but holy geez.



"Smith sending in Obrzut, Pick and Rollin like we drew it!!! Pass the ball to Crawford, and get the Slam Dunk!!!!" Wow, you spit hot fire.

Lazy Tuesday?...more like Lazy Schoolwork. No I will not make out with you. Did ya hear that? This girl wants to make out with me in the middle of class. You got Kentucky Basketball Kids up there talking about God knows what and all she can talk about is making out with me. I'm here to learn, everybody, not to make out with you. Go on with the Kentucky Bas-KITT-ball.

Tim Floyd, Is There No Limit? This Story Makes Me Say Ugghhh

Finding a replacement for OJ Mayo. No problem. Just holler at Master P if you hear him. He's got the hook up. Lil' Romeo's best friend is the No. 5 ranked basketball prospect and top-ranked small forward in the country. And Lil' Romeo wants to go to USC's prestigious film school. Oh...and he wants to ball too. On scholarship. Even though he is not that good. And has a bum knee. What's that Tim Floyd? You are actually recruiting me? An offer? Well no one else was dumb enough...I mean, sure. It was that easy? So, your walk-ons aren't going to get mad or anything are they? Sorry John Bender. Looks like you'll have to wait another year. But hey, keep up the hustle in practice. We need you on scout team, giving your blood and sweat every day, getting abused by Mayo and Taj Gibson - helping them become NBA lottery picks. So what you have to pay $44,000 a year when your family only makes $60,000.

Tajuan Porter and Darren Collison, you guys better watch out. Lil' Romeo is so gonna shut you down next year. Oh, he's not going to play? Wait, so why...why is he getting a scholarship? "We may have more 11- to 17-year-old girls in the stands than we've had in the past," said Floyd. Ohh, I get it. But you like them that young, Mr. Floyd? I mean 17, sure, but come on?

Election '08

McCain, Obama, Hil? Fuck no. Only one man deserves your vote this November. This man...



Greatest speech EVER. In the history of Mankind - that word should have new meaning for all of us today. MLK, JFK, FDR, and even Reagan are all jealous. and dead. Vote Thomas J. Whitmore - President 2008. He belongs in the air.

Make Sure to Set Your Tivo - It's Going to be So Wizard

In case you missed it, read this. 5:00 p.m. Eastern standard. Today...Thursday, March 6th. ESPN2 - Ginger Wizard in the 2007 Speed Pools Finals. Please watch. If you are not going to be home, please do yourself a favor and Tivo or DVR it. If you do not have this technology, dust off the VCR and record over some old WCW Nitro VHS's or Aersosmith videos starring Alicia Silverstone. If you can't do that, then you can come over my house and watch it this weekend. I'm having a cookout, I promise. No gingers allowed. Damn, I got you. You just got straight Rick Rolled.



Hahahaha...DORK!

All Eyes on Big Game Tonight in Boston

The two best teams in the NBA face off tonight in Boston, Mass., sans parquet. The Celtics will become the first team to clinch a playoff birth with a win tonight over the Detroit Pistons. Newly acquired Sam Cassell will not suit up for the Celts, but Theo Ratliff, signed by Detroit on Tuesday, may play. And contribute nothing.

Prediction: 'Sheed drains at least five 3-pointers, Bill Laimbeer punches Eddie House in the face, Brian Scalabrine misses the only shot he takes, and the Pistons steal one on the road. Detroit 90 - Boston Sucks 87.

7:30 p.m. Eastern start time. Follow the game live here. Or buy NBA League Pass.

If I Liked Dudes...I'm Just Saying

Here is a great article on my BFF Robbie Cano. And just so my other boyfriend doesn't get jealous, here you are Hanley. And Gibril you can take your money and run because, "I still don't have the reason. And you don't have the time. And it really makes me wonder if I ever gave a fuck about you." JK. I still <3 U! Good luck in Oakland.

And if you have ever wondered what a conversation between Kurt Warner and Jon Kitna would sound like, Kissing Suzy Kolber has supplied the answer. It is hilarious!

The Ginger Wizard...Seriously? This Guy Once Again Proves That Red Hair = Automatic Dork

So I am watching ESPN2, listening to Tommy Smythe "yai-de-de-yai" about Arsenal knocking AC Milan out of the UEFA Champions League Round of 16, when the "2007 International Speed Pool Challenge: First Semifinal" comes on. Some guy with the grossest Hispanic mullet ever was playing and I was falling asleep until I heard the name of his opponent, "The Ginger Wizard." I looked up and saw a red-haired psycho sprinting around the table knocking random balls in random holes and shouting "Come On" and high-fiving the crowd. Understandably confused, I went to Google and searched "The Ginger Wizard." I WAS TAKEN HERE! Immediately I was told, "Be Prepared to be Amazed" while the site was simultaneously bumping some dope-ass house beats.

It turns out, the Ginger Wizard is really Dave Pearson, "the world's number one pool entertainer and the most exciting pool player the game has ever seen."

According to the afore mentioned website, "Dave is a marketing dream for any company’s corporate event. During events Dave will try to break world records and will perform his amazing trick shots that have to be seen to be believed. His humor has audiences in fits of laughter and his skill takes them to unbelievable levels." A marketing dream? Umm...come on. Not so much. Fits of laughter? Geez, I can only imagine - a ginger with a poolstick. Like I've never seen that before. This website is the greatest thing I have ever seen! According to his bio, "the next challenge for Dave was the 24 hour World record which he managed to run 16,499 balls in 24 hours, only resting a total of 35 minutes through this ordeal. I guess Dave attempted this record because his social life was not very good at the time." His social life was not very good at the time? Well, when your own biography is calling you a loser who can't get any ass, I think it is time to do something else. Time to put on the ole' button-up and brown belt and go out looking for some tail. I ask again, his social life was not very good at the time? Yeah, I bet it has improved drastically ever since that fateful record-breaking day.

Going even further, the website tels me "Dave is a unique individual. He brings together all the good qualities needed to make your night a memorable one." Noooo. Please. No. The night (ok, nights) I drank 11 Busch Lights and watched my brother play Everquest was more memorable than the one I will hypothetically never spend with Dave Pearson. And what exactly are the qualities needed for a memorable night? Strippers, cocaine, booze, and a wiffle ball bat. If he brings all of those things to the table, than maybe then and only then, just maybe, I will overlook the fact that he is a red-headed lunatic who makes a living running around a pool table, and I will think about spending a night with him. On second thought, nah. I'll stay home and watch FSU play UNC. Thanks for nothing Dave.

Watch his tricks here.

And read others testimonials here. Try not to laugh. I dare you.

Thanks For the Favre, Brett

The last throw of Brett Favre's career was his best. Thanks for a great career. Between the Vicodin, ill-advised throws, silly scrambles, and post-game interviews with a dip in your mouth, you still somehow managed to leave the game as one of the greatest quarterbacks of all time and more importantly, one of the greatest Americans ever.