Time For You To Break Up With Your Girlfriend

With actual baseball games being played and conference tournaments nearing, I think it's only fair to tell your girlfriend to go away for a while. Unless you are a Pirates or Orioles fan. In that case, you will already be 10 games out in May and it's probably a good idea to keep her and her crumpin' ass around. For the rest of you, don't worry. She'll still stop by and annoy you here and there and she'll still send a late night booty text a few times a week. And trust Randy Velarde when he says there is nothing better than hooking up with a girl while listening to Vin Scully at 1 a.m.

"All year long she looked to him to light the fire and all year long he answered the demands. High fly ball into right field. She is gone! In a year that has been so improbable, the impossible has happened."