Tuesday, February 12, 2008

Don't Write A Check Yo Ass Can't Cash Congressman

The state of Georgia is in a historic drought. 38,000 acre Lake Lanier is dried up. And now Georgia wants what it rightfully deserves.

Lawmakers Say Part Of Tenn. Belongs To Ga.

The state of Georgia says its "border is supposed to be the 35th parallel, but an 1818 survey put it just about a mile south of there, and they said they want a new survey." If this is true, they would lay claim to a portion of the Tennessee River and this may help solve its water woes.

In response, Tennessee state Rep. Andy Berk issued a challenge. “My first thought was maybe we can settle this over a game of college football, but that would be unfair to the citizens of Georgia.” Seriously? Bring that shit on! We will step on your face with a hobnail boot and break your nose. We will crush your face. Bring your Rocky Top chanting, clipboard-carrying asses to the border and get some! Bring Peyton Manning if you want. It don't effin' matter. Georgia is better than the Patriots. And if you really want to issue a ridiculous challenge like that Congressman, you had better be ready to put your faith in Phil Fulmer's fat donut-eating ass. Believe me when I say that he will find a way to piss away your precious river with field goals and Clausens starting meaningful games for you for six straight years of futility. Go ahead and annex the state of Hawaii over to Georgia while you are at it. Maybe their Samoans and volcanoes can pray to the water gods and give my father his god damn lake back. Fuck you Rep. Berk. Strap your chinstrap up real tight, put on your big boy shoulder pads and get ready to be HIT IN THE MOUTH. Bill Bates style. We will crank dat all over your hillbilly Appalachian faces. Get ready. Set an early bed check and eat plenty of Wheaties because Herschel Walker, David Greene, Sean Jones, and the boys are coming for you and this time it's for realz.

Remember this...bitch!

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