Tuesday, February 5, 2008

Can't Spell Destiny without a NY. Boston Sucks! Eighteen and One. How 'Bout Them Apples.


2007 New York Champion Giants - Greatest Team Ever?

Watching Tom Brady play Super Bowl XLII from his back will forever be one of the greatest memories of my life. Joe Montana had just driven his team 80 yards and had hit Jerry Rice in the end zone for the go-ahead TD with 2:50 remaining. Then, little Awkward Elisha Manning marched onto the field and put together one of the greatest drives in football history. Former Pro-Bowler David Tyree made what is apparently the defining catch of the the history of the league. Then defensive Genius Bill Belichick decided to go Cover Zero and bring seven. I understand you are in the Red Zone, but no safety help...Really? Seriously? Plax, playing the X, gave a little slant move, Ellis Hobbs sat on it and got abused on a fade. "17 Go Get It." G-Men 17. Boston Patriots Failure. Losers.

I hope there are enough ShamWows still available to soak up all of the chowdery tears that you bean-eating arrogant Boston folk have shed. "Eighteen and One!"

Eli Manning is wishing upon a star, while Gisele is consoling a teary-eyed failure. Peyton was Tiger Sunday fist-pumping for his little bro. Shockey was advertising his G-Shock watch and simultaneously triple fisting a Budweiser, Margarita, and glass o Boxed Wine. Gibril got his ring. Strahan solidified one of the greatest careers of all-time. Madison Hedgecock called the Rams and personally thanked them for cutting him after Week 1. Domenik Hixon became the first player in NFL history to paralyze someone and win a Lombardi Trophy in the same season. I think he owes Kevin Everett his ring. Tiki got a text that said "What now biatch? <3 Your Pal Eli - Champion. Leader. From: Eli AM 12:36 2/4/08," then he called Ronde and asked if he could touch his trophy. Archie j'd off into a jar and froze his super-sperm just in case. Lawrence Taylor relapsed. I burned some mattresses and flipped some Cadillacs. Scotty Norwood woke up in a cold sweat from a nightmare and rolled off the wide right side of his bed. Joe "Willie" Namath finally got his kiss from Suzy. Randy Moss began negotiating a new contract to be payed in Straight Cash Homie. Welker's getting Whiter. Belichick already began thinking about his #7 Overall Draft Pick while sleeping under a bridge with a shopping cart full of cut-up hoodies. Big Papi spilled his milkshake. Curt Schilling threw away his Tedy Bear Bruschi jersey. Bill Simmoms hates life. And Carl rejoiced. What a great fucking day.

Super Bowl Champions - You can't ever take that away. Just ask Don Shula, John Madden, and Charile Batch.

1 comment:

Ray P. Santangelo said...

World Champs