Friday, February 15, 2008

Papelbon Predicts 162-0 Season


God, I hate you more than 90 Day Jane.

Here's the quote...

"If we're not the team to beat," Jonathan Papelbon said Thursday, "I'd like to know who is. I think that our No. 1 thing is to stay healthy. If we do that, I don't know who can really compete with us."

It's all good you think you are the team to beat. I have no probs with that, but you "don't know who can really compete with" you? Isn't this baseball where you are pretty much guaranteed to lose at least 60 games? Don't you play in the same league as the Yankees, Tigers, Indians, and Angels? Why even play the 2008 season? Just go ahead and give the Sox the trophy. While you are at it, pry the Lombardi Trophy out of Eli's hands and give it to Belichick and the Pats. Cancel the rest of the NBA season and crown Danny Ainge, the Truth, the Big Ticket, and Jesus Shuttlesworth NBA Champions. I mean, you did invent basketball, right? Give Matt Damon the Best Actor Oscar for The Bourne Ultimatum. Cause nobody can compete with Boston.

Next president - Mitt Romney by default. Bow down to us, ya facks. We are bettahhh than all of yahhhs. Greatest band evahhh - Dropkick Murphy's. Greatest movie evahhh - The Departed or maybe, Good Will Hunting. Greatest hittahhh evahhh - Ted Williams' frozen corpse. Greatest coach evahhh - tie between Belichick and Arnold Jacob Red Auerbach. Greatest beer evahhh - Sam Adams. Greatest hawkey playaah evahhhh - Bobby Orrrrrrrr. Greatest rawwwk evahhh - Plymouth. Greatest family evahhh - Kennedy's. Greatest airpawwrtt evahhh - Logan International. Greatest Red Sawwwwwkk Evahhh - Schilling's bloody one. Greatest school evahhh - MIT, no Hahhhhvaad. Greatest flowaahhh evahhh - the Mayflowahhh. Greatest hawwliday evahhh - St. Patty's Day. Greatest food evahhh - Chowwdahhh. And greatest human being evahhh - Johnny fackin' Appleseed.

Fuck off, Papelbon. You big douche. Listen to this while you j off and shut up.

3 comments:

Red Dastard said...

Greatest band evahhh - Boston.

Pickle #5 said...

And no Yankee has ever expressed confidence in his team to a member of the media? Newsflash, both teams have players that make quotes like that and both teams have idiot fans that jump on every single word and rant about shit that doesn't matter. Just didn't think you were one of 'em.

Anonymous said...

i honestly doubt strongly that that's what Papelbon was trying to say. He didn't say "perfect season" in there anywhere. Bitterness is a foe.